Der Feuervogel aufersteht.

After 10 years of my dentist wanting me to get one, and 4 denied authorizations from Blue Cross, the note from my neurologist recommending a bite guard got the fuckers to do their job.

They wanted evidence one time that I grind my teeth. The broken teeth weren't enough? The fact that I have 4 crowns (which cost, each, twice as much as a bite guard) isn't enough? The visible wearing down of the points of my teeth isn't enough?

Free-market health insurance sure works great and manages costs effectively, doesn't it? Good to know that BCBSNC's logic goes like $650 < 4x$1300, so let's deny the $650 thing. Because that's sure cost-effective.

As I suspected: severe menstrual migraine with abdominal involvement. The neuro said I'm a "very interesting young woman," because my symptoms aren't necessarily bizarre, just ... an unusual constellation, I suppose. I wonder if it's "case report in JNeuro or Cephalalgia" interesting...

He's given me muscle relaxants for the massive tension from neck to hip (finally!) and he wants me to take a triptan daily for the time leading up to my period. He wrote for Frova, but Blue Cross wants prior auth for that (they prefer sumatriptan, Maxalt, or Relpax). So I left a message at their office saying unless there's a medical reason to use Frova (there might be; I recall it having a longer half-life or something), I'd prefer one of their preferred, so I can have a lower copay.

He sent me for a fuckton of labs -- by which I mean LabCorp just billed BCBS $2700. He's checking my estrogen level, sedimentation rates, some fancier thyroid function tests (T3, to see whether I need to add Cytomel to my Synthroid because I'm not converting T4 to T3 properly), uh... I forget, but they took 3 tiger-tops, 2 orange-tops, and a lavender. At least one of the tubes had to be frozen.

And he said I have to stop drinking daily caffeine, or at least try it and see if it makes my headaches stop (though the withdrawal headache will suck). Apparently, the type of neck tension I have can be related to and worsened by a caffeine habit. But I can still have it 2 days a week, so my Saturday morning Cup a Joe is not threatened. (At least I like herbal teas?)

I have a follow-up visit on 11/24. Ben, dear, what time do your parents get in?

First, a question: what sort of posts do y'all like reading? I don't get many comments, even to posts that I think might generate some controversy, or at least thoughtful discussion. I'm not trolling for comments, here; just wondering if I'm boring everyone to death.

Idea
I have an idea for a post based on something A said months ago, about the difference between liberals and libertarians. It's sort of the synthesis of his comment, some comments leora made on facebook, and months of my brain working on the whole thing. The words "monstrous" and "inhuman" may be involved.

Illness update
Tinnitus persists. Cognitive issues, like difficulty finding words, are also there. It's sort of like trying to think with a migraine, except without the icepick in the skull. I've slept poorly the last two nights. The eye doctor saw nothing in my eyes, so no eyestrain or vision changes or other signs of disease that are visible in the eye. I may have found a cyclical pattern that maps to my menstrual cycle, joy. Appointment with the headache clinic is in about a week. Should also be about a week till my period starts again.

Football
Hertha beat SpVgg Greuther Fürth 2:0 on Friday, making them the only undefeated team in the pro Bundesliga (1st and 2nd), and putting them nicely on the top of the league table with 23 points (7x3 wins, 1x2 draws). Only 25 matches to go this season, and if they keep this up, they'll be back in the 1st league next September. Unfortunately two of our top players were injured in the match. Nikita Rukavytsya strained a thigh muscle and is out for two weeks, and captain Andre Mijatovic will be out for six with a knee ligament injury (outer ligament, Außenband). They join usual goalie Maikel Aerts (ACL, at least four more weeks) on the injured bench. Coach Markus Babbel can put 17-year-old Nico Schulz in for Ruka, which he did a few weeks ago when he banned Ruka for coming late to practice, and he's got another option or two for Mijatovic. The other GK, Marco Sejna, has done well the last two matches, except for one spectacular fumble Friday that came dangerously close to a goal for Fürth. He's kept a clean sheet so far, and the Hertha defense has only conceded 5 goals in 9 matches, which, actually, is the lowest number of conceded goals in the entire pro Bundesliga.

Wolfsburg, on the other hand, lost to Nürnberg 1:2 on Saturday. After 9 matches, they have 10 points (3-1-5) and are in 13th place. The defense has conceded 16 goals, on par with 15th place Schalke, and better than Bremen (18 goals, 8th place), Stuttgart (17, 14th), K'lautern (17, 15th), Gladbach (27!, 17th), Köln (17, 18th). Apparently, last year's Wolves had some issues with their defense, so Dieter Hoeneß (Uli of FC Bayern's brother) went out and bought some defensive players, including young Danish international Simon Kjaer and German international Arne Friedrich. Unfortunately, Arne hasn't been able to play this season thanks to a back injury, but he hopes to be back for the second half of the season. Adding to the defensive woes is the injury of goalkeeper Diego Benaglio (Swiss international). The team doesn't seem to have gelled yet, especially the defense. After the match, striker/captain Edin Dzeko expressed his frustration, stating that "we're not playing as a team." I get that sense from watching them on the field, myself.

Writing
I'm still in chapter 1 on revisions. It's been difficult to concentrate at times, and the ringing in my ears doesn't help. I'm going to use November's NaNoWriMo as motivation. I'm not participating, but I'll be using the framework to motivate myself to finish these revisions. I need deadlines to get things done.

To be addressed in a separate post
Sanity/Fear rally plans!

Nausea's back. Breakfast this morning was 8 mg ondansetron, my Synthroid, my omeprazole, and a can of ginger ale.

I haven't decided which doctor to call first: my GP, my GI, or pestering the neuro people to see if they have any info on me at all.

I'm feeling somewhat better than an hour and a half ago, but the idea of food makes me want to gag.

I plan to go to Pilates class, but I won't decide until 8:45 (class is at 9). If I go to class, I'll call a doctor when I get back. If I don't go because I feel ill, I'll call a doctor then.

Dr. Bishop pére took x-rays of my upper gums and didn't see anything. He poked around my tooth and had me bite down, and it didn't hurt. He did notice that the metal filling isn't in the best shape in the world, so if Tuesday's CT doesn't show anything wrong with my sinuses, I should call them back and they'll take the old filling out and look around to see if there are any cracks or the root is damaged, and if not, they'll put a resin filling in. He'd rather avoid doing a root canal if it isn't necessary, and he thinks sinuses is more likely.

The red, painful spot on my gum is a torus, or a bone spur on the gums. I have them on the lower jaw, so it makes sense. Apparently they're related to grinding your teeth, according to one dentistry website that turned up on the internets.

(Oh, yeah, this morning I got a call from the ENT's office with my CT appointment, Tuesday morning. I guess they showed enough evidence to BCBS to get them to authorize it.)

Either I missed the memo or someone failed to deliver it. I should have called an ENT *already* or something. :P

Got a name & number for a practice in Chapel Hill. Left them a message saying my PCP had referred me to them for sinus issues >3 months, I have Blue Cross, and do you need a referral paper from my PCP? With my number to call me back. That was about 20 minutes ago. It's Friday afternoon, though, so I won't be surprised if I don't hear back until Monday.

I can feel the congestionish stuff in my ears, but I don't want to take Mucinex before going out to dinner tonight. I don't want to be sick for Ben's birthday dinner (& drinks).

I have another prescription for Zofran, though, so I can manage the nausea again once I start the expectorant again, whenever that may be.

I think the Mucinex is working. I'll spare you the details.

I'm also increasingly certain that my nausea in weeks past was related to sinus drainage, because I couldn't eat breakfast this morning. One bite of my cereal (delicious cereal ;_; which I had to throw out) was more than enough.

Hopefully I'll be able to eat something sooner than later.

I finished Z-pak #2 on Friday. Wednesday I had a shift of congestion into my nose itself (like a cold, kind of), but by Friday, I felt pretty good.

Saturday midday I felt more congested, and yesterday my voice sounded all nasal, and I started coughing. Today I have congestion, my ears itch, and I'm still coughing.

My doctor's office is going to call me back and let me know if I should pick up the Z-pak refill my dr wrote last week or if we should pursue other options (like a fine needle aspirate of my sinuses to see what's growing there, or a head CT to see where the infection is based [and make sure it's not osteomyelitis or meningitis or an infection of the ocular orbit], or just a stronger antibiotic).

I don't care, really, as long as I can drink beer by October 9.

I'm starting my period, which is always a fun time for everything, and I felt a bit off all day, and somewhat nauseous earlier. Then I started getting the feeling like I have in the past that I'm sort of getting a migraine, with some facial pressure and general feeling-off-ness.

But since that's the way I felt during previous nausea-bouts, I'm thinking it may be a sign that this (presumed) sinus infection isn't all gone. I'll see how I feel tomorrow and either leave a message for the MD on call (if I feel badly) or wait until Monday morning and see if they can get me in (if I feel less-badly). My left maxillary sinus feels a bit tender and slightly swollen.

Right now I'm on 4 Advil and 2 Sudafed, and crossing my fingers that I don't feel badly during the football match tonight.

(On the topic of football, god damn Wolfsburg is sucking this season. Lost their first three matches. At least they're doing better than Schalke.)

Anyway, time to head out to find some food before the Railhawks game. Taking along my zofran just in case. Hope I don't need more than I took earlier today.

I think that sums up my con.

- Thursday evening I got tired waiting in line outside to get my badge, so I trekked back to the hotel (not a con hotel).

- Friday morning I woke up slightly nauseous and having a raging anxiety attack, except I didn't know it at the time. I almost passed out trying to stand up from the toilet-kneel. Because we couldn't find a nearby urgent care center that could do IV fluids, I ended up at Piedmont Hospital ER. They let me go around 1 pm, and I saw some con.

- Saturday morning, I woke up slightly nauseous and extremely exhausted. Considering I'd gotten about 3 hours of sleep a night since Wednesday (not so coincidentally when I started the Levaquin), that's hardly surprising. Despite knowing that one of the side effects of Levaquin is anxiety, and taking deep breaths and thinking of something else and all that, I still flipped the fuck out. But then, not being able to move your legs or feel your body is kinda fucking terrifying. So we got a nice cab ride to an urgent care center (after Ben called the concierge and learned that the hotel's on-call physician charges $200 to do anything but talk on the phone), where they changed my antibiotic to a Z-pak. They also gave me phenergan and said to take one when I got back to the hotel.

I was in bed from approximately noon Saturday until 8 am Sunday. I slept about 90% of the time. I felt much better.

- Sunday I actually participated in con activities, including a Q&A with the Phelps brothers (the Weasley twins). I went to a politics in SF panel, which I was prepared to be horribly offended on, because John Ringo was on it, and ready to leave the room if need be. However, it was a lot more awesome than expected. Eric Flint is a Trotskyist; Elizabeth Moon is a self-proclaimed centrist, but I think she leans a little left; John Ringo is a "minarchist." There were other panelists, but they didn't get many words in edgewise. The only time I wanted to deck somebody was when Ringo was being a condescending dickwad about "this little thing you might remember, Eric, called ... World ... War ... Two ..." and talking to him like he was a five year old child (even though Flint has a good 25 years on him and admitted to having been conservative in his youth but he grew out of it by meeting real people in the world and working in a factory.)

One of my favorite lines was Moon's (paraphrased): The only type of politics I can't stand is the smug, self-satisfied kind.

But around 7:30, I started getting really tired again, so instead of ordering pizza and whatnot for masquerade watching, Ben got pizza in the food court, I took a couple bites, and I crocheted on the bed during the show. It's sort of like relaxing.

- Today we made a last swing through the dealers rooms, bought some random crap, and some nice prints from Echo Chernik. Then it was drive time, once we got an elevator from the 29th floor, anyway. That only took like 45 minutes.

Around 6, I started feeling tired and dizzy again, but I took my antibiotics and had some Sun Chips, and Ben just got back from getting me some Gatorade, which I'm going to go drink some of and get to unpacking my suitcase. I'm very sad I didn't get to wear any of my cool clothes or shoes, but as unstable as I was, 3" heels just were NOT on.

I woke up less sick today than yesterday, but over the course of the morning, I've gotten worse. I left 2 messages with my GI's office, the second when I took my temperature and it was 99.4, up from 98.2 earlier (and it keeps bouncing between 98.2 and 99.x every couple hours).

I got an email from the editor of my anthology asking about sinus congestion, because a friend of hers in grad school had problems like mine, and it turned out to be post-nasal drip. I'd like to ask the GI about that, because Dr Google turns up message boards and nothing reputable. I have noted excess phlegm today and yesterday, though.

I'd also like to ask if every female on my dad's side having gallbladder issues between 25 and 35 (except my sister and one of my cousins) means we should look more closely at mine. The risk factors for gallbladder problems are the 4 Fs: female, fat, family, and forty.

Or maybe we should check for pancreatitis again and rule out HCV while we're at it.

I don't want to bail on Dragon*Con. I especially don't want to make a decision today and be more OK tomorrow and fine on Friday. That's not really the pattern established in previous bouts of this, though. And I'd rather not end up in Emory and have to figure out how to get home if I'm there after my carpool leaves. (Amtrak involves a 5-hour layover in Charlotte, but it's probably less expensive than a last-minute flight.)

But I'm not eating again. I had maybe 350 calories yesterday - 2 ginger ales, some cereal, and some saltines. Today doesn't look promising: I feel hunger, but the thought of eating makes me gag. Yesterday when I ate saltines, I took a bite of one and didn't want to chew or swallow it. I persevered and ate the whole thing, but then I felt nauseous afterward.

Even taking my temperature makes me gag a little.

When I went to the GI specialist last week, she gave me a prescription for hyoscyamine. I sent Ben to get it filled for me, while I was nauseous on the couch. I wasn't sure exactly how I was supposed to use it, so I called the office. The nurse called back and said I should take it every 6 hours on days I have symptoms, and to taper off.

I'm supposed to meet Erin for lunch at Med Deli (the owner is doing a Pakistan relief event, like the one he did for Haiti earlier this year, and he's donating all his profits for the day to flood relief), but the meds say not to drive after I take it. I thought I could wait until later, but I'm thinking I should take one sooner.

So I'm taking it every 6 hours starting today, and hoping I wake up normal tomorrow. If this works, I'll keep taking it during the con. I won't be able to drink alcohol at all (it potentiates the CNS depression and could kill me), but I'd rather be well and not drinking than sick.

The thought of food still isn't particularly appealing, though.

Also, Isis peed in the bed while I was in the bathroom at 5:45 this morning, so I didn't get nearly enough sleep.

This morning, I got up bright and early for my upper endoscopy. That's a test wherein they put a little camera on a flexible tube down your throat and look at your esophagus, stomach, and duodenum. They sedate you, of course.

I went in, signed paperwork, got an IV started, and waited a bit for the doctor to come in. Then they rolled me back to the suite, gave me a nasal cannula for oxygen, and said, "we're going to start the fentanyl and Versed now." The next thing I remember was being awakened. Kind of cool.

They took a sample for H. pylori (the ulcer bacterium), since no one's tested me for that yet, and found a polyp in the duodenum and biopsied that. Won't get results for another week. This means I can't take Advil for another week, because it increases bleeding risk. My neck and lower back are achy and I want my anti-inflammatories.

We stopped at Target on the way home, because we needed cheese and cat litter, and we left with con snacks (Mountain Dew Throwback!) and some workout wear and cute socks, all of which I need to toss in the laundry. I felt really off, as they said I would, so I insisted on pushing the cart as my support.

I did feel really queasy after we got home, so Ben hung around a bit longer and I took a nap on the couch (with Meyrin, who's a couch-snuggler).

I should eat more food, here. All I've had was a weird juice thing from Target to get my blood sugar up and a bagel with cream cheese.

I woke up a little off this morning, but I showered and ate some breakfast. Now my neck is getting stiff and I'm feeling somewhat migrainey. OF COURSE I can't take any ibuprofen for the next 5-10 days, because they may decide to take biopsies of my upper GI, and ibuprofen increases the risk of bleeding.

FML.

Woke up fatigued this morning. All I can think of that was different was drinking a beer too close to bedtime.

The GI appointment yesterday went OK; she asked a bunch of questions and listened to my guts a bit, then said I should call to schedule an upper endoscopy to make sure there aren't any structural abnormalities. She also thinks there's something hormonal going on and I should get it checked out. I guess I'll call Planned Parenthood and see if they can diagnose more complicated things, or if I need to go to a GYN for that.

I wish this whole nonsense would go away. I want my mornings back. I want to go to Pilates class, but it's in half an hour, and I'm already too tired/fatigued to spend 75 minutes on a mat exerting my muscles.

I hate this.