Crogglement

[feuervogel]

Thanks to a conversation on twitter, I know I'm not the only person who feels this way; I'm just wondering how common it is.

I'm completely croggled that people casually assume or casually state that they'll be getting some sort of inheritance when their parents die. I've never assumed I'd get anything other than debt to pay off or possessions to sell off when my parents die. At least my mom's house is almost paid for; no idea about dad's. (And another comment on twitter reminds me that someone's got to pay for the funerals...)

To copy and paste someone's comment to a friend's post (completely without attribution and with some paraphrasing/editing), this is what sparked this line of thought:

There's also a sense of "it's spending down the inheritance either way; this way's just time-shifted". I trust my parents to have a good sense of their financial planning and what they intended to leave me, and if they happen to want to transfer some of that to me now rather than later, that's fine.

My mom doesn't buy me stuff. She stopped even sending me money at Christmas and my birthday a few years ago. She had to do two major home repairs last summer (ac/heat and water heater both died at the same time), and her tight budget got even tighter. I honestly don't know if she has a retirement savings plan, or if the United Methodist Church even offers one for their secretaries, or even if they did, if she'd have enough income to be able to split off a hundred bucks here or there to save up. (She's a blasted SECRETARY. For a CHURCH. If she makes more than 30k (or equivalent for the DC-Metro area), I'd be astonished.) The only thing I expect to receive from her is the treadle-powered Singer, which is what I told her I wanted when she asked when she made her will. If I'm still in this country, anyway. (It would be really cool if I could figure out how to get it to work, because it has feet useful for old-fashioned clothesmaking, like piping.)

Dad does buy me stuff sometimes, usually alcoholic beverages on the rare occasions we see each other. I have no idea what his financial situation is like. I assume not very good, because he's never been good at saving, and he's an owner-operator (that is, truck driver). I don't think you get 401(k)s with those jobs. He's got his truck and his house, which together could fetch probably half a million*, though I don't know what of that his girlfriend co-owns.

*Truck resale value depends on the age of the truck, mileage on the engine, and how fancy the sleeper area is. His has a huge bed (2 bunks, I think), a kitchenette, and a lav with shower.

Anyway, it just boggles my mind that people casually mention things like inheritance. Is it just me? Is it a product of my working class upbringing?

Comments

[feuervogel]

Well, considering several of the core that our social circle was founded on went to a posh boarding school, I'm not terribly shocked at how widespread the sheltered privileged attitudes are. It's just one more thing that makes me Not Like Them and more uncomfortable.

I mean, the main reason I didn't go to CTY was because we couldn't afford to send me. I got the letter and everything, and I looked at all the course material and wanted to go take German, but there was no way my mom would/could pay for it. It would have been half her paycheck for the month (I think they were charging $1000 at the time?)

[corpsefairy.livejournal.com]

I was only able to go because they offered me financial aid and scholarships for every session. It didn't cover the whole thing, but it was enough. It's also why I only went one session per year instead of two like most people I knew.

CTY sent me a survey after one of the sessions basically asking if I ever felt weird or ostracized because I'd gotten financial aid. At the time, I remember thinking WTF, because how would anyone know? It's not like people talked about how we could afford to be there; it just never came up. Now, I admire their intentions.

[feuervogel]

I remember saying, "But there's scholarships!" and being told no. (Then the AP exams were a hassle, but I vaguely recall getting fee waivers because I qualified for free lunches.

[corpsefairy.livejournal.com]

That's just infuriating.

[feuervogel]

There are a lot of things I haven't forgiven my mother for to this day.

[tiurin.livejournal.com]

I'm wondering whether my parents' attempt to write me a pretty large check (in the thousands, not hundreds) recently (the thing which prompted my post) is in part because Dad feels a little guilty at not being able to afford stuff like CTY when I was growing up. I wasn't eligible for financial aid because the money that could have sent me to CTY was instead being sent to some of Dad's incompetent siblings. So given how weird Mom sometimes was about money when I was growing up, I'm not sure if there are any strings attached. I really doubt there are, but even though there probably aren't, I sorta feel like there are. Does that make sense?

CTY's financial aid hasn't grown all that much lately, especially relative to administrative expenses- it's sorta pathetic these days. There are no longer CTY frisbees or class T-shirts, but back when there were, the one thing that they did right was tell the RA and Instructor of a scholarship student that there's included funding to get the kid one of whatever frisbee/T-shirt everybody else was getting, and that if we ordered out for pizza or something, a reasonable expense would be covered out of petty cash.

Also, akiko, they were probably already charging over $1000. I think you're about my age, and it was already about $1300 when I was in 7th grade.