Does intent matter?

[feuervogel]

If you say words that are known to be hurtful, be they the traditional slurs starting with n or c, among others, or words that people who are hurt by words like "lame" are telling you directly that they are hurtful words, your intent doesn't fucking matter.

You are willfully and directly causing harm because you refuse to understand their point of view and accept that your continued usage of those words is harmful.

That's an asshole thing to do.

Genderbitch has a post that's extremely on point: Intent! It's fucking magic!

Today, someone said a slur. It actually doesn’t matter what slur it was, because you see, he didn’t intend to hurt anyone and therefore it couldn’t possibly be a slur. Much like how intent magically protects the actions of all privileged fuckjobs, intent means that anything you say, no matter how many groups it hurts, what awful views it enables, no matter what systemic bigotries it props up through the usage of language that enforces social concepts that crush a marginalized group, it mystically negates all of that.

So if you out a trans woman? Your uncanny intent wraps around her and protects her from murder, harassment, degendering and objectification by the people you just outed her to! If you say something ableist, you’re not actually contributing to the system that demeans PWD because your intent will gird your words with alchemical shields, made of eldritch power themselves, that prevent the words from creating and furthering social associations between disability and being bad, wrong, broken or unwanted! I know? Isn’t it grand? I love magic!

Go read the rest.

Comments

[corneredangel.livejournal.com]

You are willfully and directly causing harm because you refuse to understand their point of view

Reality check time?

To understand somebody else's point of view and to give a fuck about somebody else's point of view, I need to have good reasons *to* give a fuck.

Liking that person, respecting that person, or needing that person for something goes a long way. And if something else is finding something that I'm saying hurtful, that's mostly their problem and not really my problem.

[feuervogel]

You think "Towelhead" is perfectly valid discourse. Who needs the reality check here?

[feuervogel]

Aside from that, being a decent human being isn't so goddamn onerous. If giving a fuck requires knowing someone personally, that's a shitty way to live.

How goddamn hard is it to stop saying "Dude, that's so retarded"? NOT VERY.

[matt_doyle]

And if something else is finding something that I'm saying hurtful, that's mostly their problem and not really my problem.

Freudian slip there- I assume you meant someone and not something else, but your lack of empathy actually makes me want to check.

Also: that attitude, plain and simple, makes you a complete asshole.

[miome.livejournal.com]

I hope you never need something from the people you offend, then. There is an element of self-interest in maintaining good relationships with others.

[leora.livejournal.com]

That actually makes sense. Your argument is that it is okay for you to hurt other people because you don't care about them.

It's evil, but it makes sense. I do appreciate your honesty that you consider it acceptable to go around deliberately hurting people that you don't care about.

[corneredangel.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, don't think I'm the kind of guy who's going to be punching babies in the face and kicking puppies on his way to work.

I just have *very* little patience for things and people I don't care to put up with and don't have to put up with.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I hadn't assumed that. First off, few people enjoy that. Second, you don't seem to enjoy going out of your way to hurt people. You just aren't willing to take any effort to avoid hurting people when you know your actions are doing so, unless you care about the people in question. You're simply content to hurt people if you're not emotionally invested in them.

It's the difference between someone who will swerve to hit someone with their car and someone would never do that, but wouldn't swerve to avoid hitting someone if they didn't care about the person in question - except in a much more indirect way and probably on a much smaller scale.

I really doubt you ever go out of your way to deliberately harm people who have done nothing.

[smarriveurr.livejournal.com]

I understand. It's like, the other day, I was on my way to work, and there was this old woman on the sidewalk. She was in my way, and I had no reason to give enough of a fuck about her to slip past sideways, so I bowled into her at full speed. If that knocks her into the snow and ice, that's mostly her problem and not really my problem. I mean, if the tables had been turned, and she slammed into me, I'd have been fine, so why should I care?