There are some habitual repeat offenders, who've defended a variety of jerk behavior over the years, when I've specifically said "don't do X, it's offensive because [link]." They've defended it with bingo-card statements and shown little interest in educating themselves by reading the convenient links I've provided and considering that the writing of the marginalized person at the link is valid, and that the writer's offense is important enough for them to stop X.
So, when I've said "stop X, it's offensive/hurtful." I get a handful of "you're overreacting/it doesn't really mean that/meanings change" derails. Which I then have to spend my time rebutting and attempting to teach them remedial social justice. It's exhausting, especially when I'm talking to a brick wall.
If someone wants to be part of the solution -- which was the point of the original post: how to make the tiny changes that can help people, through awareness and listening when people say "that's hurtful, please stop," which could lead to breaking down the systematic marginalization and dehumanization of women/POC/the disabled/LBGT*/immigrants/non-Christians -- they will show a desire to learn, to change their habits. Someone well-intentioned, or someone who'd say, "huh, I never thought of it like that before," is very different than someone who's fighting to defend the status quo (and their privilege). The former can follow a link and be enlightened; no amount of linkage will help the latter.
Disabled people say "lame" hurts them. That's enough for me to stop throwing it around as an insult. If only it were enough for other people to do the same.
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2011-02-02 04:24 pm (UTC)From:So, when I've said "stop X, it's offensive/hurtful." I get a handful of "you're overreacting/it doesn't really mean that/meanings change" derails. Which I then have to spend my time rebutting and attempting to teach them remedial social justice. It's exhausting, especially when I'm talking to a brick wall.
If someone wants to be part of the solution -- which was the point of the original post: how to make the tiny changes that can help people, through awareness and listening when people say "that's hurtful, please stop," which could lead to breaking down the systematic marginalization and dehumanization of women/POC/the disabled/LBGT*/immigrants/non-Christians -- they will show a desire to learn, to change their habits. Someone well-intentioned, or someone who'd say, "huh, I never thought of it like that before," is very different than someone who's fighting to defend the status quo (and their privilege). The former can follow a link and be enlightened; no amount of linkage will help the latter.
Disabled people say "lame" hurts them. That's enough for me to stop throwing it around as an insult. If only it were enough for other people to do the same.