Women and owning awesome

[feuervogel]

One thing I've been dealing with for, well, YEARS is that I don't consider anything I've done particularly extraordinary, or that I'm particularly good at anything, or that I've had any particularly spectacular accomplishments.

I always hated the self evaluations in pharmacy school and job applications where you have to say what your strengths are. I don't have any. I'm not very good at anything in particular. (Answering the weaknesses question is infinitely easier.)

Culture tells us (women) that our accomplishments, our achievements, our talents, our lives are worth less than men's, worthless. Women who say "Fuck yeah, I'm awesome" are called braggarts and told "quit talking, start doing."

Society, men, the patriarchy, has been telling women to be modest, not to brag, and to shut up and quietly do your scut work while we ignore your PhD in nuclear engineering/six published novels/successful costume direction for three shows and give the job to the men.

Women need to be able to, to be free to, say "fuck yeah, I'm awesome" without other women policing them and telling them to sit quietly and be more modest. We get that bullshit enough from men.

Comments

[tiercel]

[BONERS]

[anacoluthon.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[tiercel]

Funniest comment edits EVER.

[anacoluthon.livejournal.com]

YES.

[tammylee.livejournal.com]

I agree.

[smarriveurr.livejournal.com]

For the record, I've got a Y chromosome, and I don't think I've ever asserted being awesome at... well, anything... except in a clearly humorous fashion. I am pants at just accepting a compliment, it always get this sort of "thanks, maybe next time I'll get this right" or "Oh, it's really not hard" sort of response.

I'm sure it's worse for women, but I was definitely also raised with a sense of not crowing or self-promoting.

[feuervogel]

I'm sure there's a cultural aspect to it as well, inasmuch as nobody likes a braggart. But you, being a guy, if someone said, "This is really amazing metalworking," and you said, "Thanks, I've been working at it for years," most people wouldn't think that particularly unacceptable. Yet women, well. Not so much with that.

[amakarie.livejournal.com]

I think most women tend to police themselves before others or society do about saying "yeah I'm awesome!" cos they don't want to be labeled "bitch."

I'm 25 years old and I have a hard time accepting any praise let alone thinking anything I do is good. :'D

[feuervogel]

That's part of it, too. Women don't own our awesome, because if we do, people think we're uppity bitches what need to be put in their place. But we only have that instinct (where it isn't part of the cultural norms, as in places where NO ONE plays up their strengths) because we see it all around us.

It's not an inherent behavior. We learn it from society. We learn that it's better to keep quiet and downplay our achievements than to promote ourselves.

And this societal norm has GOT to change.