Well, bugger it.

[feuervogel]

If I take away the romance part, do I even need to get the mercenaries onto the merchant ship? I mean, why not just have them charter a ship to the neighboring station, then work out something from there? That would solve the problem of the extraneous POV character, but I kinda liked him. :P

Because I honestly don't have a good reason to include this damned merchant ship since I dropped the romance part. But I can't think of a compelling reason to ditch them, either. *kicks it*

(87 words net so far today. Edit, edit.)

Comments

[theserubyshoes]

Okay- we're complete strangers really, and I'm starting with the most recent entry on my reading list and working backwards (not a good method, I know), but could you just uber-condense the romance instead of taking it out? Like have references to off-scene stuff that drives the plot forward without having any actual romantic scenes? (I'm struggling to think of examples, and having a hard time...but like how the Lord of the Rings book has Aragorn's romantic stuff move certain plot points forward, but in the books you never read actual romantic stuff.) Just one poorly articulated thought.

Not to make light of your troubles, but it's very motivating to read your writing woes ^^; I wish I had enough written that I were wrestling with plot points and wily POV characters.

[feuervogel]

I don't mind getting random comments! (Not quite random, but I think you know what I mean.) I like bouncing ideas around, and the process of explaining my ideas helps me put them into words. (I get a lot of vague ideas...) But it'll take some backstory explanation first, I think.

There was a call for space opera action romance novellas, so I came up with a story about this merchant who hated mercenaries but ended up shtupping one and falling in love anyway. My problem (among others) is that I come up with plots too complex to fit into 25-30k words, and this one ended up not very good. It was rejected, rightly so. Then I had to figure out what to do with the characters I'd developed, since that story wasn't very good.

So. I kept my mercenary and gave him a different motivation (originally, he was questioning whether he was doing the right thing; now he's fine with it, SSGT, 5 years from retirement.) Then I rewrote the plot. And I found that there's not really a good reason for the mercenary and the merchant to get together, especially 'cause Atesh, the mercenary, was really resisting the romance plot. As it turns out, he's actually got a long-term partner back on his home station. Who knew? I sure didn't. Punk.

I think I figured out a decent subplot to give to the merchants, though since I came up with it on my way to dinner, I'm not sure it's really going to work. I already know they don't have any problems with black market stuff, and they're carrying fifty mercenaries pretending to be aid workers to an embargoed space station to start a counter-revolution. (The merchants don't *know* they're mercenaries. I'm working on a subplot where a couple of them figure it out.)

I posted my first working outline on LJ (flocked & under a different username); I could revise it a tad and post it locked here. It's not detailed at all, more like a 2-page synopsis? I love feedback on plot holes and that sort of thing.

[theserubyshoes]

I love how the characters are coming to life, and resisting the constraints of ~plot~! It sounds like you're feeling your way down a more workable path, but I'm nervous to read all the way to the end of your synopsis. Spoiler alert? Or is your project still early-stage enough that the end could (and probably will) change somewhat?

[feuervogel]

The end, I'd say, is probably not going to change too much at this point. The specifics will, I'm sure, because I haven't worked those out yet (eh-heh). The last 4-5 paragraphs are vague, like they get to their mission and carry it out. I expect as I get closer to that segment of plot, I'll be able to revise the outline/synopsis in more detail. The first half of the synopsis covers the first quarter of the book (which is what I've written so far, though I may have to change it.)

I discovered in rewriting the synop, though, that Michael doesn't really fit in anymore, as a POV character. Oh well.

[luckykitty.livejournal.com]

I thought part of the story was Atesh's own rethinking of what he does for a living? Wouldn't exposure to a civilian/apolitical crew help that? Or has that element of the story changed?

And wasn't the merchant ship also cover? Even if they easily get to a neighboring station they still have to get there.

[feuervogel]

Yeah, that part seems to have gone away, too. He likes his job, he's good at it, and he's got 5 years to retire with a full pension ;)

Which means there's a hint of an idea knocking about the back of my head, when Atesh retires and goes home and settles down with his partner (oh, yeah, he apparently has one, of many years...) but finds out that old habits die hard. There's something involving ... some group wanting to do bad things to the station, for reasons I have no idea about yet. Hey brain? Let me finish this thing before you give me more rabbitholes to fall through, ok?