I'm not clear on what's actively bothering (or just confusing?) you about the conversation you've described (which I'll readily admit may be due to all kinds of privilege of my own, and also to not actually being part of that discussion). Are you saying that people who expect to inherit money should avoid discussing it out of politeness to those who aren't so fortunate? Or are you simply surprised that people who've grown up in those fortunate families are aware of the planning that the elder generation(s) are doing?
If the concern is politeness, I can see your point, and I think wealthy(-ier) people in general need to be careful about casually commenting on their circumstances. But if you're surprised that the idea would come to mind at all, don't be: my impression is that most families that (successfully) plan to leave a significant inheritance to the next generation make a point of talking with their kids about how to do it. In part that's because the kids may be active participants in the plan (they might start getting money before their parents or grandparents die, for instance). But also, families with a tradition of passing on money often see "looking out for future generations" as one of their family's important values, so they make an effort to ensure that their kids can and will do the same.
I won't talk too much about my own family here, since (as noted above!) it seems a bit inappropriate. But as far back as my great-grandfather (at least), my mother's family has put a lot of effort into saving money to pass on to the kids. That began when he was an immigrant shopkeeper, and the upshot is that I expect to inherit some of that "family money" down the line. (It's been made pretty clear, too, that they expect me to do the same for my kids when the time comes: you're not supposed to spend "family money" on yourself, at least not permanently.)
Oh, and relevant to some other comments: quite often, much of one's "inheritance" comes from selling a house that's (mostly?) paid off. That may not be what the original conversation was about, but I think it's pretty common for a paid-off house to cover end-of-life medical expenses and then some.
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chiming
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Date: 2012-04-09 03:57 am (UTC)From:If the concern is politeness, I can see your point, and I think wealthy(-ier) people in general need to be careful about casually commenting on their circumstances. But if you're surprised that the idea would come to mind at all, don't be: my impression is that most families that (successfully) plan to leave a significant inheritance to the next generation make a point of talking with their kids about how to do it. In part that's because the kids may be active participants in the plan (they might start getting money before their parents or grandparents die, for instance). But also, families with a tradition of passing on money often see "looking out for future generations" as one of their family's important values, so they make an effort to ensure that their kids can and will do the same.
I won't talk too much about my own family here, since (as noted above!) it seems a bit inappropriate. But as far back as my great-grandfather (at least), my mother's family has put a lot of effort into saving money to pass on to the kids. That began when he was an immigrant shopkeeper, and the upshot is that I expect to inherit some of that "family money" down the line. (It's been made pretty clear, too, that they expect me to do the same for my kids when the time comes: you're not supposed to spend "family money" on yourself, at least not permanently.)
Oh, and relevant to some other comments: quite often, much of one's "inheritance" comes from selling a house that's (mostly?) paid off. That may not be what the original conversation was about, but I think it's pretty common for a paid-off house to cover end-of-life medical expenses and then some.