Maybe just a slight rephrasing? Instead of "shows you how high in the priority list" just "shows you where on the priority list" and then start the next paragraph with "The Martian's cavalier attitude/disregard/whatever also gave them a better idea..."
That way you're being more specific than "it" and also making sure your reader gets it without have to resort to Breitmann expositing more.
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Date: 2011-04-08 03:31 am (UTC)From:That way you're being more specific than "it" and also making sure your reader gets it without have to resort to Breitmann expositing more.