Wangst and weemo

[feuervogel]

I read a lot of writers' blogs. Or LJs, whatever. And I've started to feel like I'm inadequate and inept as a writer, because I wasn't an English major. I'm not Trained in things like Narrative Technique, Structure, and Symbolism, and I'm not well-read enough in classics, folklore, or myths to make use of Allusions.

I'm an impostor.

All I've got is some characters, a story idea, and 20-odd years of reading spec fic (and some Real Books™). No technique, no ideas for creative symbolism or structure or literary allusions.

I'm never gonna sell anything.

Comments

[smarriveurr.livejournal.com]

I have no idea if EO is still around. JC was aiming for a lot Changes that didn't appeal to me as I graduated, so I haven't really kept up. Plus, there was a lot of Drama about my graduation (I ended up having to argue my way to a diploma, a year late, because of credit transfer problems - they decided to change the way credits would transfer the year I went abroad and not explain that was the one place to ignore The Marburg Manual - and missing half a credit for the "Cultural Analysis" requirement due to living in a different culture during an American election year).

Not that I'm still incredibly scathingly bitter, or anything.

That was the one. I avoided names A) because I figured you wouldn't know her and B) for anonymity. ;)

The nice thing about JC was that, in my departments at least (CS/MA/DE) the classes never went much over 20 or so people, so we were all well-known. I also started in Calc II (multivariable), and had the same experience you did with DE210 etc - "Oh, this is exactly like normal calculus, but you ignore one variable and do it again ignoring another variable. See you next week."

I felt kind of bad sometimes, because my Calc II professor taught in the same room I had my Computer Organization class, the hour after I had CO, which was also the hour before I had Calc II. So he knew I was very much cutting his class, a lot. Thank the various gods he had a sense of humor about it.

One day, he asked if I was showing up for class later, and I asked him tocall a coin flip. He lost, nodded ruefully, and said "See you Thursday, then, maybe." Coolest. Prof. Ever.

[feuervogel]

WUT. Shit, I was in Marburg in 96. I watched the election returns on the kitchen TV at 7 am before catching a bus up to the chemistry building. They were probably a lot less depressing than finding out that wanker from Texas won...

I felt bad because I fell asleep in Klaus' classes a lot. Including the one where it was just me and this other guy. I had really bad sleep habits in college.

[smarriveurr.livejournal.com]

2000, baby. I received a phone call at What-The-Fuck AM from a German friend to tell me that ZOMGWTFPONYBBQ AMERICA DOESN'T HAVE A PRESIDENT.

I woke up just enough to reassure him that, in fact, we had systems for this, and months to work it out, because instant tabulation was a pipe dream just a few decades ago, and to go to sleep. Little did I know at the time how much panic I should have felt. As it was, I had friends who hadn't lived in America since before the elections, and who voted Democrat, getting yelled at for Bush administration BS before we left in the Summer.

I never nodded off in Klaus' classes - but by the end, German Lit Since WWII, there were three of us, and it was embarrassing when we all admitted we weren't keeping up on the reading - there was no one to hide behind if you weren't ready for classes.

[feuervogel]

That's the scary part about small schools, and why I'm glad I went to one.