Am I being weird about this?

[feuervogel]

My sister is pregnant. I want to crochet her (baby) a blanket.

I emailed my mom to ask if that's something she'd like, and mom replies that I should email sis a picture of the pattern and let her decide if she wants it and pick a color.

Isn't that the opposite of a gift? I'd planned to go to the store and pick out a pattern from a book and some yarn, or get yarn that has a pattern on the label. I want to make something very neutral gendered: no pink or blue, no patterns (hearts or flowers). I saw a book of afghan crochet (the kind of crochet that's like single-hook knitting) baby blankets, and I liked one of the patterns in it.

Honestly, now I don't even want to bother.

Anyway, internets, am I wrong for being upset that I should let a gift be dictated?

Comments

[blimix.livejournal.com]

If it starts out with your offer to your sister, rather than a request from her, then it's a gift. Giving her some input about the pattern and the color doesn't make it less of a gift. (If your gift is to take someone out to dinner, letting them order their own meal doesn't negate its gift status.) She doesn't have to dictate it: You can first establish what sorts of patterns/colors you are and are not willing to work with, and ask for her input within those bounds.

Unfortunately, that precludes impulse shopping for yarn and patterns. If this ruins your enjoyment of making the blanket, then don't do it.

[feuervogel]

It feels a bit more like an obligation, if I have to get approval in order to do it. It doesn't feel as much like giving something of myself. Mom mentioned the colors she likes, and I can look for those, but if the store doesn't have any, well, something pretty will have to do.