Am I being weird about this?

[feuervogel]

My sister is pregnant. I want to crochet her (baby) a blanket.

I emailed my mom to ask if that's something she'd like, and mom replies that I should email sis a picture of the pattern and let her decide if she wants it and pick a color.

Isn't that the opposite of a gift? I'd planned to go to the store and pick out a pattern from a book and some yarn, or get yarn that has a pattern on the label. I want to make something very neutral gendered: no pink or blue, no patterns (hearts or flowers). I saw a book of afghan crochet (the kind of crochet that's like single-hook knitting) baby blankets, and I liked one of the patterns in it.

Honestly, now I don't even want to bother.

Anyway, internets, am I wrong for being upset that I should let a gift be dictated?

Comments

[yvi]

I knitted a baby blanket for my nephew, which took me a lot of time and I think they never used it... So maybe it would be worth it to ask if they'd appreciate having one? But I don't think you should ask whether your chosen color and pattern are okay. If they don't like it they don't have to use it.

[feuervogel]

That's what I intended when I emailed my mom. (Actually, I asked, "Do you think she'd appreciate that?") Then she said I should let her decide what pattern and everything, at which point the joy was sucked out of it. So meh.

[yvi]

That sucks :-( Might it be worth it to just ask her instead? Sometimes people just do too much "gatekeeping". She might be absolutely delighted at the idea and be really happy with anything you do.

(my sister was happy, too, by the way, I just don't think it ever got used)

[feuervogel]

I replied to my mom and told her what I'd been planning and said that if it would be rejected because sis didn't pick it out herself, I won't do it. Depending on what mom says, I might ask my sister directly, though I kind of wanted it to be a surprise. *flail*