Crogglement

[feuervogel]

Thanks to a conversation on twitter, I know I'm not the only person who feels this way; I'm just wondering how common it is.

I'm completely croggled that people casually assume or casually state that they'll be getting some sort of inheritance when their parents die. I've never assumed I'd get anything other than debt to pay off or possessions to sell off when my parents die. At least my mom's house is almost paid for; no idea about dad's. (And another comment on twitter reminds me that someone's got to pay for the funerals...)

To copy and paste someone's comment to a friend's post (completely without attribution and with some paraphrasing/editing), this is what sparked this line of thought:

There's also a sense of "it's spending down the inheritance either way; this way's just time-shifted". I trust my parents to have a good sense of their financial planning and what they intended to leave me, and if they happen to want to transfer some of that to me now rather than later, that's fine.

My mom doesn't buy me stuff. She stopped even sending me money at Christmas and my birthday a few years ago. She had to do two major home repairs last summer (ac/heat and water heater both died at the same time), and her tight budget got even tighter. I honestly don't know if she has a retirement savings plan, or if the United Methodist Church even offers one for their secretaries, or even if they did, if she'd have enough income to be able to split off a hundred bucks here or there to save up. (She's a blasted SECRETARY. For a CHURCH. If she makes more than 30k (or equivalent for the DC-Metro area), I'd be astonished.) The only thing I expect to receive from her is the treadle-powered Singer, which is what I told her I wanted when she asked when she made her will. If I'm still in this country, anyway. (It would be really cool if I could figure out how to get it to work, because it has feet useful for old-fashioned clothesmaking, like piping.)

Dad does buy me stuff sometimes, usually alcoholic beverages on the rare occasions we see each other. I have no idea what his financial situation is like. I assume not very good, because he's never been good at saving, and he's an owner-operator (that is, truck driver). I don't think you get 401(k)s with those jobs. He's got his truck and his house, which together could fetch probably half a million*, though I don't know what of that his girlfriend co-owns.

*Truck resale value depends on the age of the truck, mileage on the engine, and how fancy the sleeper area is. His has a huge bed (2 bunks, I think), a kitchenette, and a lav with shower.

Anyway, it just boggles my mind that people casually mention things like inheritance. Is it just me? Is it a product of my working class upbringing?

Comments

[gryphynshadow.livejournal.com]

I think it must be some kind of middle upper class wishful thinking. I bet that most folks don't know just how freaking expensive it is to die, or what the reality of the older generation's money situation is.

My uncle passed last month; he owed my aunt for a short term loan she made him early this year. My mom told my aunt not to cash the check he post dated for her, because she (my mom) needed to pay off as much of his bills as possible. {She told me yesterday that one day in the ER, right at the end of his life, cost $39,000.}

I've always known that the only inheritance I'll get from my parents is in the form of stuff. My great great grandmother's salt cellar, the peddle organ, some other random heirlooms and whatnot. Things that are not to be sold or traded away for anything at all ever. But a big lump o money? Yeah, no.

It was a big deal that my mom found paperwork among my uncles stuff for a life insurance policy he purchased in 1976. If he paid on it, it'll be worth $20,000, and go to her. It's like, whoa. That's a surprise. And every penny of that will go to paying my parents bills, like their mortgage and car payments.

So, I suspect that a lot of people are living in a happy dream world where their parents have a lot of money just there, to help them out and leave them in a big vault they'll be able to swim in like Scrooge McDuck. There's this idea that our parents are better at this whole adulthood thing than we are, and that they'll take care of us after they're gone even. To which I say: ha. I wish.

[feuervogel]

Death is so much more expensive now than it used to be, especially because Americans are completely incapable of having a grown-up discussion about end-of-life care and whether a $30,000/day hospital bill is worth it. We're all obsessed with quantity of life, rather than quality. So people with horrible cancers get drugs that make them feel horrible to get an extra 6 weeks of life (after 6 months of feeling horrible from chemo). It's ridiculous. Spend that time with your family and OxyContin and relatively enjoy it. (Obviously, for cancers with good prognoses, the equation is different.)

This article is really interesting.