feuervogel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
feuervogel) wrote2020-10-28 07:20 pm
feuervogel) wrote2020-10-28 07:20 pm
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Day 28: in which I gripe about work more
When I got an email gauging my interest in working on this project that said "up to 20 hours a week," I thought, "cool, I can work around that." I got a new file to annotate today, and the instruction was to turn it in "as early as possible," with about 14 hours of work. They said to let them know if we needed more time, so I told them that the initial email said 20 hours; I've already put in 10 this week (in 2 days); Monday at the earliest.
I'm a chronic over-explainer. It's that thing you do when you start explaining why you can't make it to X or won't work more than they said you would. It's really hard for me *not* to add things like "I figured 3 hours a day or so, and I could work on my other annotation project which is more fun for an hour or so a day, and I can still do things like write."
I have to keep reminding myself that people don't need explanations. I don't have to justify myself, my right to a life and work/life balance, etc. It's hard, though.
It stems from anxiety, like all of my bad habits. (Well, maybe not all, but a damn lot. Overplanning, getting places way early, all that kind of thing.) At least with Prozac, I can keep the "you fucked up, remember that time when you were 8? let's relive that now" away. I still have those moments of "oh, boy, I fucked that up," but only a normal amount, I guess? Not replaying things over and over while I'm trying to sleep.
Anyway. Time to finish the book that almost kept me up way past my bedtime.
I'm a chronic over-explainer. It's that thing you do when you start explaining why you can't make it to X or won't work more than they said you would. It's really hard for me *not* to add things like "I figured 3 hours a day or so, and I could work on my other annotation project which is more fun for an hour or so a day, and I can still do things like write."
I have to keep reminding myself that people don't need explanations. I don't have to justify myself, my right to a life and work/life balance, etc. It's hard, though.
It stems from anxiety, like all of my bad habits. (Well, maybe not all, but a damn lot. Overplanning, getting places way early, all that kind of thing.) At least with Prozac, I can keep the "you fucked up, remember that time when you were 8? let's relive that now" away. I still have those moments of "oh, boy, I fucked that up," but only a normal amount, I guess? Not replaying things over and over while I'm trying to sleep.
Anyway. Time to finish the book that almost kept me up way past my bedtime.