This is entirely uncharitable of me

[feuervogel]

My mother is more excited about my sister's new baby (Clara Rose, born just before midnight last night) than about me getting a doctoral degree.

To be fair, she is also more excited about my sister's new baby than my sister's college degree or any of her achievements in theater.

Not that that makes it a whole lot better, really. It just makes it less about me and more about my mom only valuing baby baby baby.

Comments

[krait]

Aaaagh. I feel your pain.

Today I received a card from a friend I haven't heard from in months; in fact, the last actual mail I received from her was when she had a child and sent a birth announcement. (This in itself is reasonable - we live in the same city, we don't really need to mail letters to each other!) Looking at it, I felt certain I knew what was in it, as I couldn't think of any other reason she'd send me a card; she hasn't bothered to contact me in months, and I don't even see her at church anymore, so she must either have stopped going or started attending service at a different hour. I was certain that the card must be a "Baby X is having a birthday party!" invitation. Read: You've seen him maybe twice, but I want you to bring him a present!

When I opened it, however?

It was a birth announcement for another child! I felt... slightly bad for my uncharitable thoughts. :D (But also a bit baffled as to why she'd send me an announcement, when it seems clear to me that she has no real interest in socialising and I know she's aware that I'm not a baby person. Oh, well; at least it wasn't a baby shower invitation!)

It gave me this moment of "Wow, I just really do not get the attraction other people have to this concept", though - everybody seems to be nuts for the idea of reproducing, while I regard it with a sort of mild horror and distant disinterest.

(My mother, on the other hand? Is firmly in your mother's camp. I suspect she spends time dreaming up names for her nonexistent future grandchildren; I know she spends time praying I'll find a husband!)

[feuervogel]

My mom has wanted a grandchild since I got married 15 years ago. (Though honestly? She's probably wanted a grandchild since I was BORN.)

I do not understand wanting to be pregnant or have babies or raise them. At all. I know why, for me, anyway. The thought of being pregnant squicks me out like whoa, and then you have small humans dependent on you for everything, and I really don't want people being dependent on me. Cats are about the most dependency I can handle.

I have a lot of thoughts on my ambivalence to this child and my mom's reaction, which will be a separate, longer, locked post.

[krait]

Yep, very much the same here. Pregnancy is a squicktastic load of DO NOT WANT, and I don't have the patience for children. I cannot conceive (heh) of any appeal whatsoever in listening to spit bubbles and wiping bums; nor am I delighted by the thought of the years that follow.

(Funny story: mum was talking about a cousin's baby, once, and how it was a year old; I asked whether it was talking yet, and was horrified when she said "no" - asked if something was wrong. Learnt that nope, babies still can't talk at that age, normally! Went away with another data point against ever attempting reproduction; imagine pouring yourself and your resources into a bottomless drain for a year and the thing still can't even communicate?!)

I look forward to your locked post, at some future date. ♥