Thing is, I've heard people try to defend "gay" that way too. "I'm not talking about actual homosexual people, I'm just insulting this object, so it's okay." Yes, it's more of a stretch (there's probably not a definition of "gay" in the dictionary that doesn't mention homosexuality - yet - but people *try* to get away with defining it that way), but nevertheless.

Honestly, I admit I've had difficulty including "lame" in this category too, just because unlike the more obvious ones - gay, fag, cunt, not to mention the racial ones which have been on the outs for decades now - I had never actually heard people using it to refer to disabled persons in a derogatory manner *or* heard disabled people trying to reclaim it in a positive manner. But my experience is not the world, and there are people in the comments here and in the links who have a lot more contact with the disabled community saying it *is* still honestly used those ways. So there we are then.

That said, I'm still looking for good alternatives, because the closer something is to matching the connotations I'd have used it for, the easier it is to remember to use it instead. "Pathetic" is close. "Sad" works in some cases. Still pondering.