I think you should avoid using non-gendered pronouns for those who don't want them. To me, that's just a politeness thing. But if you use them as your default for everyone, and you slip up and use them on someone who wanted a gendered pronoun, that's a very small thing, and I don't think it is ungendering. However, if you deliberately deny someone a gendered pronoun they want when you know better, than that's not okay.

It's a lot like Ms. for an adult female. As soon as they taught me the Ms. option in Elementary School, I used it exclusively with all of the adult females around me. I was taught none of the social context whatsoever, and I had no ideas about how it connected to feminism. I just knew that Miss. was for unmarried women, Mrs. for married, and Ms. could be used for either. And I leapt at that, because I would not need to keep track. So, it's my default, and it's more efficient. However, now that I am older, I know that it's a bit rude to make someone else's title choice for them, so when I can remember, I use someone els's preferred title. In some cases that will still be Ms., but sometimes it will be Mrs. And I think it's a bit rude to force Ms. on someone who doesn't want it. But if I simply mess up, I don't think anyone should get upset at me over it, whereas if I force it on someone, then they have a right to be annoyed. And the same the other way around if someone defaulted to Miss or Mrs and got it wrong. A mistake is understandable, but pushing your choices onto other people's self-identification is not.