feuervogel: (hold me)
All I have to say about a goddamn con man with no experience or skills who is a fucking fascist being elected president over a woman with all the qualifications is this: fuck you, America.

I'm done staying and fighting. I can't anymore. A week ago, I would have considered a PhD program in the US, if I decide to continue my education, but now I won't. The only options for me for the future are in Europe.

Not that anywhere is safe if that irrational, unstable monster has the nuclear codes.

What this election shows me is that America hates people who aren't straight, white, Christian men. America hates immigrants, LGBT people, POCs, the disabled, women. I know that I'm not wanted here, so why bother?

I suck.

24 Apr 2013 09:03 am
feuervogel: (sideways days)
So I got the result of my first test in this class back. I passed, barely: 19.5/30 (passing is 19).

I don't know why I did so badly, and the office people won't explain why because it's a Leistungsergebnis and all I can do is read the commentary on my exam, which is shit like "read this section of the book again," and I'm just "Bitch, I was fucking LOOKING at that page when I wrote my answer, why the fuck do you think reading it again is going to help me one fucking bit?"

I've gone between upset-sad and upset-pissed about this so many times, and I'm convinced I'm just too fucking stupid to figure out their vague questions and imprecise definitions. (See also: become more familiar with the terminology and principles of interactive learning... The former isn't exactly well-defined (I had to go to fucking WIKIPEDIA for some shit), and the latter wasn't exactly in the book. So leck mich.))

I feel like I've wasted two thousand fucking dollars.

I need to do a practicum (in Germany, because I don't know of any sites here that meet their criteria), which means another thousand+ dollars for airfare, plus living expenses, plus any fucking fee the site charges.

And I can't learn the way they expect me to. I don't have the ability to guess what they're getting at, I've never taken a linguistics course, the way I learned grammar 20 years ago bears no resemblance to the things I'm reading in this text, and most vitally, I need much more precise, clear explanations of material.

Seriously. I read something, I understand it as far as what's in the text goes, and yay. Apparently I'm supposed to ~reflect~ on everything when I read it so I can teach myself? I don't fucking know.

I'm too fucking stupid to take this class. I can retake up to 3 of the exams (8 total). I'm not terribly hopeful that I can pass at least 4/7.

Fuck all this.

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feuervogel

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